Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Another Open Letter

To: Facebook movie reviewers who insist on using the term "Oscarbait".

Dear Fuckfaces,

Let us start off by pointing out one important thing: You are posting your opinion on Facebook, so consider how much it really matters to anyone of any significant importance.  This is a social network for you to share opinions with your friends, yes; but it's not a serious venue for your wannabe-elite movie-goer snobbery.  You're clearly a know-nothing fool who commented on Guy Ritchie's latest movie "That was sooooooo like Smokin' Aces."   Turn 16.  What do you even know about movies apart from you "heart Sex and the City!"?  Hhhh.

Second, I don't understand this term "Oscarbait".  Let's think about it for a minute as if it were a bad thing, like you imply in your poorly constructed movie "reviews".  An Oscar is a big deal to an actor.  Most of the ones that take on real challenges aspire to be the calibre of performer that deserves that tiny gold man.  

Faulting an actor for playing a meaningful role in a decent film that has the potential to win awards is like faulting a graduate student for entering an education which might result in a degree.  Or it's similar to looking down on any student for working hard and getting good marks with the hopes of winning a scholarship or some sort of recognition for their hard work and tremendous skill in their field.  What is so wrong with wanting to be granted an award for the job that you do well?  Is there some fault in wanting your peers and critics to realize your potential and skills in what you devote your life to?  I don't think there is, and I think your thought process on the subject goes a little something like this:

"What are you even entering grad school for?  So you can get a Masters and then a Ph.D?  So that you can have something to prove to your peers that you can do a good job and you're a valuable asset to the field?  Why would you want that?  That's ridiculous.  I flip burgers and wear too much eye makeup on the weekends."

Oh, and for the movie one, it goes something like this:

"Those jerks released a meaningful movie in which they acted so well, they might be considered for an OSCAR *gasp*.  This means I must choose to dislike a movie that is perfectly likable because everyone else likes it.  For this reason, and this reason only, I do not like the movie.  God forbid I should feel the same as anyone in the mainstream media.  I am so non-conformist for the sake of being non-conformist--I'm so cool...why doesn't anyone like me??"

No one likes you because your argument for why you only gave the movie two stars out of five doesn't make sense.  Especially since (brace yourself) the main actors in the movie you're condemning for being "Oscarbait" didn't even get nominated.  You might want to consider editing your ignorant movie review if you have time between taking photos of yourself in the bathroom mirror without turning off the flash.

You're the smartest,
Jacquie

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Things I Hate

I stole this from my cousin's Facebook because it made me LOL

Things I hate: (in no particular order)

- Thais who drive on the wrong side of the road with their motorbikes at night with no headlight

- Inconsistency

- Taylor Swift

- Italian sausage (it tastes like soap!)

- Two and a half men 

- Brendan Fraser and Nick Cage

- Carrottop

- Overdubbing movies instead of just adding English subtitles.  

- Fatties who dress like skinny people

-
l 1 I - that's lowercase "L", #1 and capital "I" -- fuck!

- Any child in every country between the ages of 8 and 18

- Motion sickness

- People who are vague or non-specific.

- Using the term "present" instead of "gift"

- too much basil--it's all I can taste!

- Historical inaccuracy

- Redneck Americans

- taxi drivers

- Shitty tattoos

-your/you're or there/their/they're or too/to/two mistakes.  

- neighbours with barking dogs

- Furry body hair

- Good Charlotte/SimplePlan/whiny emo garbage music 

- liars and backstabbers

- Any sticky surface 

- Hip-hop culture

- Gossip tabloids

- negative Nancys and Debbie downers 

- pre-teens who "date"

- Misuse of their/there/they're and your/you're and to/two/too (I hate this enough to include it twice, in fact these type of mistakes will probably get you deleted from my friends list)

- People who don't understand how to properly phrase a Facebook status.  It's THIRD person. ie: "Kendra is soooooooooo tired.  I NEED SLEEP!!!"  Wrong.
 F.

- People who change their status to something like "missing you" or "loves her bf"

- Fergie

- Hidden fees

- Leopard print

- People who not only post pictures of them making out with their significant other but then use that as their profile pic

- People not infavour of nuclear power or stem-cell research - get a clue

- Right-wing conservatives

- aggressive Vietnamese people

- Overcooked noodles

- Men with long hair put into a ponytail 

- People who quote Dane Cook 

- Religious nonsense rules

- Oh who am I kidding?  Religion.

- The exchange rate on the Canadian dollar 

- Spider-Man 3

- People who take pictures of themselves using the bathroom mirror 

- People who take pictures of themselves using the bathroom mirror who don't turn off the flash

- Girls who take pictures of themselves with mad cleavage in the bathroom mirror.

- Blurry photos and stupid photos of shit.  People go to a different city and then just go to the bar and take a million pictures of them and their friends looking greasy and drunk.  Take some scenery pictures!

- Language barriers (sometimes)

- Evan Jamieson's hatred of kitten heels
I have to think of more

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Stolen New Year Discussion

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Lived and worked in a third world country.

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I think I intended to quit Co-op early last year, and I definitely did that.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Surprisingly no, but there's one coming soon.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My grandma.

5. What countries did you visit?
Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, and Vietnam.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
An mini-tiger pet.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 28th, because it is the day I left my family for what would be the longest stretch ever.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Quitting my shitty job and making a huge change that I needed in my life.  I also managed to commit to someone else without paralyzing fear.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Putting myself in situations that could've been avoided completely with pre-emptive measures.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I've had a few food-related sicknesses and my first ever bladder infection, but nothing too serious.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My red vinyl kitten heels.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Definitely my parents'.  They swallowed their fears and decided to come here to visit me.  I'm so proud of them for taking a step outside of their box, and I really hope they enjoy it.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Coworkers and fellow foreigners in this country.  We've come to refer to them as "First-world rejects". They get this name because of their personality; they would never be able to succeed in their home country, or find a meaningful relationship or hold a decent job or even complete any sort of education.  They are the trimmed fat of their homes and they come here to buy a wife.  It's disgusting.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Travel.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Being in a relationship for over a year without panicking and scratching frantically for a way out.  Also, it ends up that teaching Kindergarten is extremely rewarding, and it's fun to make projects for little kids and play stupid games.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Hotel California, because it's basically the only English song I've heard more than once since May.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder? Thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer?
Happier, same weight, definitely poorer in the bank, but richer in spirit.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I can't think of anything to put here.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I wish I could have dealt with a lot less bullshit gossip in the workplace.  I hate how everyone treats each other and feels like they have something to prove.  The lower their self esteem, the more trouble they cause for everyone.  This make the workplace a little less enjoyable and a lot more tense.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas Day riding a bus to laos.

21. Did you meet/date anyone special in 2008?
I have a lot of students that it will break my heart to leave behind in a few months.

23. How many one-night stands?
None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Arrested Development re-runs and Dexter Season 3

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
A few of my former coworkers have really come to grind my gears.

26. What was the best book you read?
Non-Fiction

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Fratellis and Zooey Deschanel

28. What did you want and get?
I wanted a big change in my life.  I *needed* a big change.

29. What did you want and not get?
I wanted argyle shoes.  I have not yet acquired these.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Religulous

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Mexican food, then out to Soi Cowboy and rode a mechanical bull with some hookers.  I turned 22.

32. What's one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Seeing Ong Bak 2 in the theater here in Thailand.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Growing up, but keeping it fresh.

34. What kept you sane?
Instant messaging, our excellent neighbours, cute kitties and my adorable students.



35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Christian Bale, as usual.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Definitely Obama's election.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
My awesome new homeroom teacher, Lani.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
It's ok to make mistakes, and it's even more acceptable to do what you need to do to fix them.  Live on your terms and no one elses'.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"I promise you, it won't happen again!"

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Hello Doraemon bowls


As some of you may have read previously, I was planning on purchasing Doraemon merchandise at my local 7-11.  As it turns out, you could not just buy the merch, it was a points collection system.

So over the last 6 weeks, I was collecting these:


to fill up two of these:

the end result being these:


Huzzah, Doraemon!

I can't wait to eat cottage cheese/black pepper/green onions or Dairyland Classic Vanilla with Lemon out of them upon my return to Toontown.

Whee!!
:)

It should also be known that I purchased a Doraemon stuffed animal and watched a full length feature film, Doraemon Nobita and the Robot Army.  It was awesome.  I regret nothing.