Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Speaking of crazies

Further proof for my crazy dog people campaign: http://www.thestarphoenix.com/life/Author%20writes%20bedtime%20story%20dogs/2951400/story.html

Also, Twilight fans are high on my list of people to hate these days.  I’ll be honest, I watched the first Twilight movie and didn’t hate it.  Before you judge me too harshly, let me be clear:  I didn’t like it enough to watch it more than once or even pick up one of those god-awful books, but the movie wasn’t as bad as I expected.  Omniscient IMDB even gave it a solid 5.7/10.  Not terrible, that’s almost 6/10.  Normally I will reserve my time to watch only 7/10 or higher, but we were in Thailand and had very little else to do during the week.  So then, I had pretty high hopes for the second movie, New Moon, to follow in the footsteps of Twilight’s mediocrity and be reasonably entertaining while not being either terrible nor my favourite.  It failed on all expectations.  It took me three separate viewings to get through that movie.  I had to stop after 40 minutes and walk away, it was just that bad.  Awkward and sprawling, the movie just continues on and on like a 14-year old boy just finished a growth spurt.  The story makes NO sense, Kristen Stewart needs acting lessons, Robert Pattinson AND Taylor Lautner could keep their fucking shirts on for a few scenes, and why am I even wasting my time critiquing this??  This was supposed to be segway to showing how CRAZY Twilight fans are.  First of all, they are super-fans for something that is terribly childish and makes no sense whatsoever.  But we all have our guilty pleasure movie, mine is Bring It On.  I know it sucks, I just laugh and watch it every time it’s on.  But that’s as far as I take it.  Twilight people have taken it too far:

                      Blue Steel?                                              Who the fuck is this guy? Oh, and: “You are my life now”?  Epic quote.

It is my wish for the future that people who choose stupid tattoos would at least get them done by good artists.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Uninteresting Update

As you all know, we recently moved into a house that, if we owned it, would be referred to as The Money Pit, given all the things that went wrong with it and continue to be uncovered. But, since we don’t own it, at least I can take solace in the fact that all these repairs are on someone else’s dime.
I feel the need to let everyone know that some action has been taken, and plans are in the works to get to work on aesthetics once the kittens have all gone to their new homes. I have paint colours picked out, but I am most looking forward to sanding and painting these terrible hardwood floors. I hate looking at them more than anything in this whole house. The landlord sent over a team of misfits on Good Friday, and they cleaned up the landfill in the backyard. They spent all day raking leaves that had not been picked up in a few years, they took away all the garbage, and most importantly, the dog shit as well. We now have an excellent blank-canvas back there, but we are still waiting on a tree trimming.
Also, it should be noted that the downstairs floor drain was capped, so it no longer splashes back into the basement. However, now that the algae has started to dry up, it seems to be smellier than usual. I’m hoping that musty dirt-basement smell doesn’t last too much longer, but at least the weather is nice enough that we can open the windows. The kitchen sink no longer leaks, we got a new hot water heater, the bathroom sink now has water pressure and the washing machine barely leaks anymore. All good things, but now that the weather has warmed up, the upstairs bathroom seems to be smelling like sewer pretty much all the time and it’s migrating into the rest of the house. I have the distinct feeling that the drain line to the sewer is going to have to be dug up and slanted so that things can drain to the street. Actually, I was watching Holmes on Homes last week, and they installed a VENT to the plumbing so maybe that’s what we need. Either way, that’s a huge job and I hesitate to even bring this up to the landlord, because I don’t want him getting pissed and hiking our rent for all the extra cash he’s dumping into this house. Then again, I’m not a doctor, but I’m quite certain that it’s not healthy to live in a house full of sewer fumes that have nowhere to go, not to mention the fact that it’s quite unpleasant to come home to. It is his responsibility to make sure this place is safe and healthy for tenants. Besides, if he refuses to fix it, I would hate to have to get tough and call in a home inspector, because I have the feeling that with the lack of bathroom ventilation fan, the sewer issues, the damage to the flooring and all things underneath it, and the [very likely] mould growing/dying in the dirt basement, it might be condemned, and then we’d have to move… AGAIN.

The thing that has really gotten to me is that we HAVE to live in either basement suites or shitholes because of the ridiculous housing market here. We work hard and are good people, we just can’t afford to (nor do we want to) buy an over-priced house and we're not able to rent a nicer or newer place, because they all cost way more to rent than we can afford. And it’s not like we can’t afford it because we are unemployed or addicts, Matt works a full-time job, and I am a student and working part-time. We almost never go out or buy crap we don’t need. We cook all our own meals and try to save money wherever we can. Doing all this, we SHOULD be able to make ends meet and live somewhere at least half-way decent. But because of the fucking housing boom here, and the fact that many company’s wages haven’t bothered to catch up to the cost of living, we can’t, and it is REALLY starting to bother me. We don’t deserve to live in a shithole, we deserve somewhere nice to come home to after working and going to school all day, but the sad fact of the matter is that we cannot make that happen, purely for financial reasons. It’s very unfair, and while I understand that landlords want to make money, I feel like just once in a while, they should see good people when they’re right in front of them, and maybe give them a break. We could really use a break.

Monday, April 19, 2010

And cat-lovers are crazy?

I have noticed quite a few people on Facebook these days are building profile pages for their DOGS and then adding their friends.  The weirdest part: people ACCEPT Facebook friendship of a dog, but then turn around and call people like me “Crazy Cat Ladies”.  At least I know my cat is a fucking cat and didn’t build it a webpage. 

cocosutherland

This got me thinking, and I think dog-lovers are more crazy and fanatical than cat owners.  For example: no one carries a cat around everywhere they go in their handbag and cat people don’t “hate” dogs.  But more often than not, a dog-owner will be heard saying, “I hate cats,” or at the very least, saying something like “I am more of a DOG person, myself.”  What does that MEAN?   How have dog people been so crazy for so long without being noticed, but as soon as someone has more than one cat or even photo of a cat, they are forever labelled as crazy?

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Bearface

As everyone is probably aware, Bearface is my super fave kitten.  In fact, it looks like we’re going to keep her.   And since I trust Lojo to keep her word and start calling her BF Bearface, here is a little sampler of Bearface being adorable.

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Saturday, April 10, 2010

Whiskas

Watching the two most recent Whiskas commercials have been like looking in a mirror.  The worst part is, I know that these commercials make these people look crazy, but the last time my dad was here, I was kissing Meez on the top of the head and talking to him in my favourite kitty-voice.  The second worst part is that I don’t even use a different voice to talk to babies and small children, only kitties.

 

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

True Adulthood

I came to a realization over the long weekend that I truly am an adult. Sure, I’ve been ‘technically’ and ‘legally’ an adult since my 18th birthday, but I never REALLY felt like one. I am still in school, I have no kids, I am not married or even engaged, I don’t own a house, I don’t have a real job, my parents still give me Easter baskets full of candy, clearly these things are not equated to adulthood. One event in particular made me see that I really am what small children would call “old”: I yelled at a punk kid out the window of a house.


It started out innocently enough, with Matt’s family gathering at his sister’s for Easter dinner on Sunday. We ate and drank, sat around talking about nothing in particular. Then it happened. I was in the kitchen doing dishes and looked out the window to see a ‘punk kid’ messing with a tree in the backyard. So I slid the window open and yelled, “Hey! Go away!” and then slid it shut, continued with the dishes, grumbling about ‘kids these days’.
When I was 18 or 19, or even 20, I probably would’ve yelled at that kid, but it would have had different motives behind it. This time I was seriously mad that the kid was messing with the tree, I wasn’t just trying to be a wise ass.

Then I REALLY got thinking. It’s been happening slowly but surely over the last few years. I hate the music on the radio (could be legitimate, Saskatoon radio stations play the same 10 songs on repeat, except Wired 96, who mashes all 10 songs together and plays them simultaneously), I have no idea who Justin Bieber is or who the Jonas brothers are, and every kid has stupid hair, useless hobbies and annoying slang. Matt’s niece laughs at the things I ask her, and I think I have become that cooky aunt who will eventually be committed and never heard from again. I only learned who Zac Efron was in January (for the sake of a blog post) and I never go out anymore. And the other night when we DID leave the safety of our shithole to go to the 8th Street Dairy Queen, standing there for 5 minutes made me want to get my tubes tied. What kind of parents pump their kids full of sugary ice cream at 8:30 on a Sunday night? But then I see the occasional cute and well-behaved baby and I go into baby fever, vowing to get knocked up ASAP and have no less than 1 000 000 babies. Luckily logic prevails in Jacquie’s world, and I power through these thoughts [relatively] baby-free (we still have several kittens around).

Anyway, in this, my 24th year of life, I am an adult. Although I do none of the adult things, and will still pullover to steal a pylon off the side of the road, my mindset is such that I have become significantly older than ‘kids these days’ and I hate them all, especially those that are in, on or around my lawn.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Kitten Photos

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The kittens are now one month old and are getting rambunctious.  They are also way cuter than they were as rat-babies.  It’s going to be difficult to give them away :(
Luckily they’ve all been spoken for, so we don’t have much choice in the matter.