Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Sports Fans

Smarten up.  The riots in Vancouver this evening following the Canuck’s loss in the Stanley Cup final scares the living shit out of me.  People who get so riled up that they will become angry and destructive over something as trivial as a hockey game worries me.  Cities that pull this shit should have their team taken away. This is total stupidity and is actually quite scary, seeing what people will do over a shiny cup and a stupid game.  To quote a friend of mine, Steven F, “The Vancouver riots prove that average intelligence in the population is at a record setting low.”

How does a hockey team losing affect your daily life?  Is the sun going to fail to rise?  Are you going to lose your job, your home or your family?  In case you’re a hockey fan and are therefore too dumb to know the answer: NO, YOU’RE NOT.  This kind of sports fanaticism bewilders me, and the mob mentality terrifies me.  Protest when the government destroys your freedom.  Protest when something meaningful happens or your basic needs are threatened.  But when your hockey team loses, just go home and cry.

Grow up, assholes.  This is seriously embarrassing.  Care passionately about something that MATTERS.  Oh, and stop blaming the goalie.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Still gets me


I totally forgot about this video until today, and the ending still gets me.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

My Idea

I have an idea for a great new reality show: Husband Hunters.  It will chronicle the lives and exploits of “those girls”.  Everyone knows one: they come in many forms and disguises, but have one thing in common: they want to get married.  Preferably to a rich professional, but as they reach mid-to-late 20’s, they settle for anyone who will marry them.  Every aspect of their life revolves around finding a man to settle down with, at which point they can kick off their shoes and socks, get knocked up and never think another original thought again (assuming they had an original thought to begin with).

The most common form is the serial monogamist.  She is the girl that skips from one serious relationship to the next, and refuses to be alone.  Is she incapable of being alone?  Maybe, but we’ll never know if that’s true or not, because she never will be.  As soon as one relationship ends, she’s back on the husband hunt, going home with guys from bars, joining every online dating site possible and frequenting student lounges in male-dominated educational institutions.  She asks about every male friend you have: your roommates, your brothers and any classmates or acquaintances.  This girl is not so subtle, she’s always asking “Is he single?”  She’s fun and outgoing, having lots of friends in her brief bouts of being single.  But then she disappears into a relationship, never to be seen nor heard from again unless her current BF has a best friend she wants to set you up with or until the next breakup, at which time she resumes being fun and spending time with her girl friends.  Make sure you don’t get a boyfriend before her, though.  She will sabotage that shit.

The other common form is the high-maintenance husband hunter.  This is the girl that walks into your Math 110 class 6 minutes late every day with tons of makeup, big sunglasses, knee-high boots over skinny jeans and a giant purse, but carries no books and might even be wearing a bump-it to get super awesome volume out of her hair extensions.  This girl will walk into class late, talking on her cell phone, sit down next to the first decent-looking guy she sees, and asks him questions like “So what are you taking?  Pre-med?  No?  Ok see you later.” at which time she’ll move onto the next one.  These girls enroll at the university (or maybe aren’t students at all) just to hook a husband.   In the US, she’s likely part of a sorority.

Audrina Patridge is a good example of a husband hunter—why else would anyone date Ryan Cabrera?

This show would be awesome, someone is guaranteed to get pregnant on purpose to “save” a failing relationship.   And a few years later, they can move on to being “Real Housewives” of whatever city they happen to live in!

Actually, now that I think of it, I think this might be what The Hills was about…


Does one of these descriptions sound like you?  You can be on the show!  Or maybe you want to learn about husband hunting?  Good news, there’s a book for you to read! (http://www.buzzillions.com/reviews/men-secrets-ultimate-husband-hunter-how-attract-enjoy-dati-reviews)

Friday, March 11, 2011

Zap Collars for Classmates (or coworkers)

The way that my program is structured, it works out that I am in class with the same 20 women for 40 hours every week.  We work in lab groups, we have classes together, we eat lunch together, a few weeks ago, I think all of our monthly cycles synched up (ew, not really).  It’s a lot of time spent together, anyway.
As we all know, my tolerance for humans runs on the low to dangerously-low end of the spectrum.  I get sick of people quickly, and it’s a new and exciting thing when I find someone who doesn’t aggravate the hell out of me after 3 hours spent together.  Anyway, since August, I have spent every weekday with these girls, and I’m way past sick of it.  I’m having a pretty severe reaction to a fair number of them.  Yes, the majority of my classmates anger me to no end.  I’m sure no one is surprised.  And since I despise it when people complain without bothering to offer a solution, I have one.
I need zap collars for some of these girls, like people use for yappy dogs.  Hear me out, the behaviours I have in interest in curbing are reasonable: stupid questions, know-it-all attitudes (particularly when she doesn’t ACTUALLY know it), interrupting others, memorizing and regurgitating things without actually understanding them, bossing around instructors, bossing around peers, talking too loud in class, texting incessantly, telling a stupid story, telling an irrelevant story, asking underhanded and judgmental questions, bragging about money, being na├»ve, being a baby, complaining about problems without trying to solve them, blurring the lines between instructor and friend, etc.  Here’s how it works:
“So <instructor’s name>, what are you doing this weekend?”  Inappropriate!
zap

“Instructor, come over here.”
”Instructor, turn the lights on.”
”Instructor, are you sure what you’re saying is correct?”
”Giggle giggle giggle”
Bossy bratty little bitch!
                                                    zapzap
“Do we need to know this?  Is this on the test?” Stupid question!
zap
Know it all!
                                      zap
“I hate this.  This is so dumb and it’s not working.”
Jacquie: “How should we fix it?”
”I don’t know.  Did you do what the textbook says?” Stupid and not helpful!
zap
“One time I saw on a movie blah blah blah” Irrelevant and waste of my time!
zap
Interrupting others?
zap
After a while, of course, the collar wouldn’t administer electric shock, it would just make a buzzing noise, to remind the individual that they were still doing the undesirable activity that Jacquie (and any other reasonable person) hates.  Until the behaviour had been adequately diminished, ideally, cured. 

Friday, February 18, 2011

Day 28

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.

Biggest fear: Our house burning down while we’re away with the kitties locked inside. :( :(

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Day 27

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.

Why just one?  All the cousins on my dad’s side @ Heather’s wedding in 2007!

Still can’t believe my dress turned out to be the same colour as the bride’s.  Oopsie daisy.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Day 26

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.

images

I’m very lucky to be healthy and hope to stay that way for quite some time.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Day 25

Day 25 - A picture of your day.

Morning:

It’s not exactly what our equipment looks like at school, but it’s close.  We had lab practical evaluations this morning.

Afternoon:

Learning about ERCP and other biliary system special procedures.  Oh joy of joys.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Day 24

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.

If I won the lottery, I would take all the kitties out of shelters and give them head kisses.  And I would find their neglectful previous owners and punch them in the neck.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Day 23

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Day 22

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Day 21

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Seriously—go away, Katy Perry.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Day 20

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.

There are tons of places I’d like to go, and a few I’d love to go back to, but Morocco is near the top of the list, for sure.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Day 19

Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.

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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Day 18

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.

I get really offended when people treat me like I’m an idiot, and I am insecure about people looking at me like I’m the dumb girl. 

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Day 17

Day 17 - A picture of something you hate.

Lately, I hate driving.  People in Saskatoon are terrible drivers.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Day 16

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

I feel like Gordon is so misunderstood.  People mistake his passion and confidence for arrogance and meanness.  Despite the fact that he’s misunderstood and people think he’s “mean”, he’s still wildly successful and no one could deny his talent, no matter what they think of his personality.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Day 15

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

This is just a sampling.  I love to travel and I would like to visit the wonders of the world, among other places.  Happily, a couple of these places can already be checked off the list.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Day 14

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Day 13

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Some of these are way too hard to narrow down.  Jack White, Tegan & Sara and The Sadies, to name a few.

Jack White 1-thumb

Tegan and Sara

sadiesBethHammillMain-1

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Day 12

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

Physics!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Day 11

Day 11 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

IMGP4116

Kittens and school have been filling most of my time.  Kittens also tend to hinder my schoolwork, as pictured here.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Day 10

Day 10 – A picture of someone you do the most messed up things with.

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Between majestic T-bizzle burn outs and pylon liberations, we also liked to hang at the Black Duck back in the day.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Day 9

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Don’t judge me.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Day 8

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

The other day I logged onto my Hotmail over the internet, which I hadn’t done in a while (was using a client before) and saw that this is still my avatar and personal message from the last time I used MSN Messenger.  It cracks me up that Meez has a speech balloon saying “Jacquie” in Thai.

ololCapture

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Day 7

Day 07 - A picture of someone you miss.

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:(

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Day 6

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

IMGP3052

Ok, so he’s not a “person”, but this cat has a sweet life.  I’d love to get treated like he does for one day.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Day 5

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

IMGP1863

On our second trip to Laos, we rented a motorbike and went for a cruise outside of the town we were staying in.  In town, we stayed in cool bungalows in the midst of mountains and rice fields.  Perfection.  There was also a kitty.

IMGP1860

Day 4

Day 04 - A picture of a good night.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Day 3

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Day 2

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.

This is a tough one, I’m going to need multiple photos, since there’s a four-way tie for this one.

Family Shot 11Family Shot


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DSC00489

Friday, January 14, 2011

30 Day Photo Challenge–Day 1

Several people on my Facebook are doing this photo challenge, and I’ve heard some grumblings about my lack of blog updates, so I feel like I can get two birds stoned at once here.  30 day photo challenge on my blog!  I’m so crafty.

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.Thumbs up

1. I have never dyed my hair.
2. Cats are totally sweet. 
3. I really don’t enjoy shopping, but I work in retail.
4. I love sending things in the mail to friends.
5. I have a morbid fascination with all things pathological.
6. I’m in the Medical Radiologic Technology program currently, and being an x-ray tech is not my first choice of career, but I’m sure I will enjoy it and find fulfillment in helping people.
7. It takes a long time for me to warm up to people, what friends I do have are very special to me. 
8. Believe it or not, I am a nice person.
9. Baking is like therapy for me.
10. Most of my taste in music can be accredited to my father.
11. Guinness is my favorite beer.
12. Laos is my most favorite country that I have been to thus far.
13. My guilty pleasure is watching shows like “Teen Mom” and “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant”.
14. I love Kit Kats.
15. Many of the people I have met in the last few months have completely changed my mind and overcome my first impression of them.  This doesn’t happen very often.