Wednesday, March 23, 2011

My Idea

I have an idea for a great new reality show: Husband Hunters.  It will chronicle the lives and exploits of “those girls”.  Everyone knows one: they come in many forms and disguises, but have one thing in common: they want to get married.  Preferably to a rich professional, but as they reach mid-to-late 20’s, they settle for anyone who will marry them.  Every aspect of their life revolves around finding a man to settle down with, at which point they can kick off their shoes and socks, get knocked up and never think another original thought again (assuming they had an original thought to begin with).

The most common form is the serial monogamist.  She is the girl that skips from one serious relationship to the next, and refuses to be alone.  Is she incapable of being alone?  Maybe, but we’ll never know if that’s true or not, because she never will be.  As soon as one relationship ends, she’s back on the husband hunt, going home with guys from bars, joining every online dating site possible and frequenting student lounges in male-dominated educational institutions.  She asks about every male friend you have: your roommates, your brothers and any classmates or acquaintances.  This girl is not so subtle, she’s always asking “Is he single?”  She’s fun and outgoing, having lots of friends in her brief bouts of being single.  But then she disappears into a relationship, never to be seen nor heard from again unless her current BF has a best friend she wants to set you up with or until the next breakup, at which time she resumes being fun and spending time with her girl friends.  Make sure you don’t get a boyfriend before her, though.  She will sabotage that shit.

The other common form is the high-maintenance husband hunter.  This is the girl that walks into your Math 110 class 6 minutes late every day with tons of makeup, big sunglasses, knee-high boots over skinny jeans and a giant purse, but carries no books and might even be wearing a bump-it to get super awesome volume out of her hair extensions.  This girl will walk into class late, talking on her cell phone, sit down next to the first decent-looking guy she sees, and asks him questions like “So what are you taking?  Pre-med?  No?  Ok see you later.” at which time she’ll move onto the next one.  These girls enroll at the university (or maybe aren’t students at all) just to hook a husband.   In the US, she’s likely part of a sorority.

Audrina Patridge is a good example of a husband hunter—why else would anyone date Ryan Cabrera?

This show would be awesome, someone is guaranteed to get pregnant on purpose to “save” a failing relationship.   And a few years later, they can move on to being “Real Housewives” of whatever city they happen to live in!

Actually, now that I think of it, I think this might be what The Hills was about…


Does one of these descriptions sound like you?  You can be on the show!  Or maybe you want to learn about husband hunting?  Good news, there’s a book for you to read! (http://www.buzzillions.com/reviews/men-secrets-ultimate-husband-hunter-how-attract-enjoy-dati-reviews)

3 comments:

Dylan Laine said...

LOL! OMG the Hills!!!! Suuuuuu ch shit!!!

Lojo said...

MWUAHAHAHAHA!

Love it.

It could also be called, "Women Selling Their Soul And Wrecking Their Lives."

I want to be on a reality show called, Maybe I *Could* Learn To Love Pussy.

My favorite is the accidental pregnancy. There are so many of those in Red Deer. Not surprisingly, those girls are still husband hunting.

deedub said...

I bet he has to hang upside-down while the gel sets