A couple of weeks ago, I followed in Lojo’s footsteps and joined a 31-day Blogger Challenge with an online community. I didn’t make it very far, I don’t think I’ve read or participated in any of the “challenges” in about 8 days. Oh well.
The purpose of the challenge was for them to sell some guy’s book about bettering your blog, boost traffic and evaluate and learn from other blogs in your “niche”.
First thing I noticed: there are few other blogs in my niche. This is because I couldn’t identify what exactly mine is. The original purpose of Engrish Comics was to relay funny stories about my time living in Southeast Asia. Since moving home, it has become a place to vent about the issues in my everyday life, a sort of public journal. I cover many different subjects, from cats, to health care, traveling, feminism, finances, Internet commenters, transit system, etc. So what is my niche?
I tried visiting a few blogs of ladies that are participating in the challenge, and while I still don’t know my niche, I did find something:
Hundreds of them.
- I don’t have any children, just my three fur babies. So perhaps the problem is that I don’t understand wanting to write and report NON-STOP on one subject only.
- I don’t hate stay-at-home moms, or moms in general. My own mother stayed home with us for years, and I’m glad she did. I, too, hope to spend a couple of years at home with my own kids. It’s a good thing to do, kudos to those of you who do so.
- I don’t mind if people who have kids need a place to report to far-away family and friends about their kids, I get it. But a public blog? Logging every second of their life and hundreds of photos posted on the internet? That has trouble written all over it.
I take issue with the extremist moms that seem to dominate the blogging scene. Sure, you have kids, and I have no problems with occasional updates, just as I do with the fur babies. They’re a part of your life, a big one, if you’re a stay-at-home mom. But is it possible that your lack of outside interests and experiences is just a tad unhealthy? I think so.
Many women define themselves as being a mom and wife. But what happens when the kids leave home? Or if she should ever suffer a divorce? Defining yourself in terms of these roles is dangerous, because extreme mommies get extreme empty nest syndrome. And then you become a terrifying mother-in-law.
I’m not saying every woman needs a professional career. I know that everyone does not aspire to be doctors, lawyers and executives. But read a book (that isn’t about motherhood), or take a class (that isn’t about parenting), or join a club (alone!) and expand your mind. Learn something, do stuff, go somewhere. ANYTHING so that you can write about something other than your kids and the recipes you feed them. Oh and the cleaning tips—enough with the cleaning tips!
A close friend who wishes to remain anonymous recently agreed with my stance on mommy-blogs, and she pointed out how ass-backwards this whole thing is:
I could cry right now I am so relieved that I am not the only one who is enraged by new age motherhood and it's throw back to a time predating the women's movement.
Gonna be a harsh reality check for some of these mommys when their kids turn thirteen and won't have anything to do with them besides tell them to fuck off when they nag them to clean their rooms.
I think what pisses me off the most about stay at home blogger mommys is how they refer to themselves as "busy". What the FUCK are you busy doing? According to their blogs, they spend most of their days writing stupid shit for their blogs and discussing mommy awesome-ness in forums and buying shit online with their husband's money. It's like they graduated from college, spread their legs, and were like, THANK GOD, I can stop thinking and just be a mommy now.
Exactly. IF they finished college. Chances are they got themselves knocked-up halfway through so they could lock down the husband they wanted.
These women make me terrified of having children. I know having kids changes people, and I was prepared to mellow out a bit. I was even prepared to become a little less self-centered, I know these things are inevitable. But I’m scared it will turn me into something I do not want to be. Like one of those moms at a dance recital, laughing their faces off at stupid jokes that aren’t funny. Or one of those women you can tell used to be pretty, until she gave up on losing the baby weight and taking care in her appearance. Or one of those women run ragged due to stress, because her kids turned out to be assholes. Or one of those annoying idiots that gushes about her husband and happy marriage to the point that you wonder who she’s trying to convince: herself or you?
Worst yet, what if I just mellow totally and fade into the oblivion of mediocrity, posting 200+ baby pictures every month and lose all other interests and ambitions? What if I just get boring? Oh well, even boring would be better than being SUPER annoying… like extreme mommy bloggers.