Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Speaking of crazies

Further proof for my crazy dog people campaign: http://www.thestarphoenix.com/life/Author%20writes%20bedtime%20story%20dogs/2951400/story.html

Also, Twilight fans are high on my list of people to hate these days.  I’ll be honest, I watched the first Twilight movie and didn’t hate it.  Before you judge me too harshly, let me be clear:  I didn’t like it enough to watch it more than once or even pick up one of those god-awful books, but the movie wasn’t as bad as I expected.  Omniscient IMDB even gave it a solid 5.7/10.  Not terrible, that’s almost 6/10.  Normally I will reserve my time to watch only 7/10 or higher, but we were in Thailand and had very little else to do during the week.  So then, I had pretty high hopes for the second movie, New Moon, to follow in the footsteps of Twilight’s mediocrity and be reasonably entertaining while not being either terrible nor my favourite.  It failed on all expectations.  It took me three separate viewings to get through that movie.  I had to stop after 40 minutes and walk away, it was just that bad.  Awkward and sprawling, the movie just continues on and on like a 14-year old boy just finished a growth spurt.  The story makes NO sense, Kristen Stewart needs acting lessons, Robert Pattinson AND Taylor Lautner could keep their fucking shirts on for a few scenes, and why am I even wasting my time critiquing this??  This was supposed to be segway to showing how CRAZY Twilight fans are.  First of all, they are super-fans for something that is terribly childish and makes no sense whatsoever.  But we all have our guilty pleasure movie, mine is Bring It On.  I know it sucks, I just laugh and watch it every time it’s on.  But that’s as far as I take it.  Twilight people have taken it too far:

                      Blue Steel?                                              Who the fuck is this guy? Oh, and: “You are my life now”?  Epic quote.

It is my wish for the future that people who choose stupid tattoos would at least get them done by good artists.

6 comments:

Dylan Laine said...

OMG I ALSO LOVE BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

M.C. said...

I completely agree with you on the twilight front. Those people need to be slapped hard across the face. As for the whole reading a book to your dog article I have to say, as an absolutely crazy dog person that that's f*cked up!! I have no issue with people being crazy for their pets (dog or cat) but come on, there's limit.

terriannep said...

In my world, Rob Pattinson never has to wear a shirt. Or even any clothes, for that matter.

Lojo said...

Reading bedtime stories to your dog? Jesus fucking Christ. I just can't wrap my head around this one. Isn't the point of reading to your child to improve their use of language, reading skills, stimulate their imagination, etc.? And who the hell puts their dog to bed? The Dragons are going to waste him.

I need a fucking cigarette.

I haven't seen either of the Twilight movies, or read the books. To be honest, all the marketing hype surrounding it reminds me of The New Kids on the Block bedsheets, and t-shirts, and action figures that polluted the stores in the late 80's/ early 90's. I automatically stereotype anything marketed towards teen girls as retarded, because they're typically raised retarded, and they dig anything and everything that is retarded as long as it involves an unrealistic love illusion involving edgy boys who are sincere, and passionate, and emotionally tender. Not to be blunt, but I've fucked a number of edgy, bad boys, vampires or not, and they don't commonly say things like "you are my life now." They sell drugs.

Lojo said...

And I agree. If you're going to get a ridiculous tattoo, at least make sure that you get a decent artist to do it.

I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse.

twitch said...

Hahahahaha, Lojo. It is like NKOTB, and we all know how that turned out.