The other night I met a new person. While I was happily watching Iron Chef, Newbie reaches for the remote at the commercial break and is all, "Can I just check something else quick?" Of course, no problem. That implies he will take up the commercial break with a TSN stopover at the football game. Most Saskatchewanites want to check the score on the Rider game on a Sunday night, and although two years ago, this would’ve lost them a few respect points, now that I’m back in the country, I’ve mellowed. There are a lot worse things to be subjected to than a Rider fan. Anyway, that wasn’t what he was after: he turned on the PGA tour… for the next 90 minutes.
When we finally made it back to the Food network, some guy was cooking up bangers (sausages) in Guinness.
Newbie: "Ugh, Guinness."
Jacquie: “Guinness is my favorite beer.”
Newbie: "Really? Have you tried any others? Guinness sucks."
And then he took a swig of his Coors light--straight out of the can.
That guy dropped in respect points FAST. He lost 150 points in a matter of seconds.
*50 points lost for hating Guinness
*50 points lost for TELLING me about hating Guinness
*50 points lost for making me miss the Iron Chef
He's in a tough place to recover from. In fact, he'll have to combine quite a few of the following traits to make it anywhere back near zero:
*has issues with Thai people
*world renowned physicist
*gives me rainbow suspenders
*gives me no less than $100 000
*tells me I have an awesome car
*pays for my schooling
*gets FOX News taken off the air