Thursday, May 7, 2009

True Blood – 4/10

Just finished viewing True Blood Season 1 and I am sad to say I am not impressed.  I really wanted a good TV show about vampires merging into mainstream society, I wanted it so bad.  But this one is not the one to make it work.  It’s mindless and poorly acted. 

First of all, I hope whoever coached these losers on their accents was fired. The only high points are a few of the supporting characters, 3 of 5 of my favourites were killed off by the end of the season (and one of them was a cat, to put that into perspective).

The whole storyline is contrived to revolve around sex, and nothing else. Sex with vampires, gay sex with gay vampires, gay sex with straight vampires, sex to score vampire blood, sex after drinking vampire blood, sex in front of vampires, vampire sex, non-vampire sex, sex cuz we're scared of vampires, sex because we're mad at vampires, sex because we just became a vampire, etc.

Nothing against sex, it would just be nice if it were a little more subtle with being peppered into the storyline. Perhaps HAVE a storyline and then shoehorn some sex into it. But they didn't even bother to do that... and Anna Paquin is a dizzy gap-tooth bitch. Either she sucks or her character sucks, I can't figure out which.

anna-paquin-bleeds-true-blood                      YEAH RIGHT || What?  Can’t afford dental work?

Another part of the storyline that I find highly implausible is why 150 year old vampire Bill who seems to have his shit together would be interested in someone like Sookie. She's constantly flying off the handle at him for things he can't control. He leaves for two days and she already decides that he's "not coming back" and suddenly has feelings for dog-man? Give me a break. She's supposed to be a 25 year old woman, not a 14 year old girl. People close to her are dying all over, and she's got the brightest smile on her face because she just gave away her V-card to some dude because she can't read his mind?  She acts like a crazy person, screaming at everyone and having little fits all the time.  She’s completely self-centered and monotone: annoying. Seriously, if I were a vampire, 150 years old and had lived through the American civil war, would I date an ignorant hick-town girl from Podunk, Louisiana?  Doubtful.  There are better (and hotter) girls worth my immortality.

As the main character of the story, I would've hoped the show would do a little more to make her understandable and someone to invest your interest in, not someone you keep secretly hoping gets killed off or put into a coma. I can't find anything about her character that I like and even the fact that she can read minds is impressively uninspiring and not the least bit interesting.

I will not be wasting my time with watching Season 2 come June.

TrueFail

F.

2 comments:

Lojo Beautiful said...

I also loathe TV shows and movies that try too hard to incorporate copious amounts of sex scenes that have nothing to do with plot. And of course, said sex scenes are always kinky in some capacity and often shared between two extremely hot strangers who just randomly meet and fuck. So real life, yo.

I also loathe Anna Paquin.

twitch said...

+10 to respect