Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Another Open Letter

To: Facebook movie reviewers who insist on using the term "Oscarbait".

Dear Fuckfaces,

Let us start off by pointing out one important thing: You are posting your opinion on Facebook, so consider how much it really matters to anyone of any significant importance.  This is a social network for you to share opinions with your friends, yes; but it's not a serious venue for your wannabe-elite movie-goer snobbery.  You're clearly a know-nothing fool who commented on Guy Ritchie's latest movie "That was sooooooo like Smokin' Aces."   Turn 16.  What do you even know about movies apart from you "heart Sex and the City!"?  Hhhh.

Second, I don't understand this term "Oscarbait".  Let's think about it for a minute as if it were a bad thing, like you imply in your poorly constructed movie "reviews".  An Oscar is a big deal to an actor.  Most of the ones that take on real challenges aspire to be the calibre of performer that deserves that tiny gold man.  

Faulting an actor for playing a meaningful role in a decent film that has the potential to win awards is like faulting a graduate student for entering an education which might result in a degree.  Or it's similar to looking down on any student for working hard and getting good marks with the hopes of winning a scholarship or some sort of recognition for their hard work and tremendous skill in their field.  What is so wrong with wanting to be granted an award for the job that you do well?  Is there some fault in wanting your peers and critics to realize your potential and skills in what you devote your life to?  I don't think there is, and I think your thought process on the subject goes a little something like this:

"What are you even entering grad school for?  So you can get a Masters and then a Ph.D?  So that you can have something to prove to your peers that you can do a good job and you're a valuable asset to the field?  Why would you want that?  That's ridiculous.  I flip burgers and wear too much eye makeup on the weekends."

Oh, and for the movie one, it goes something like this:

"Those jerks released a meaningful movie in which they acted so well, they might be considered for an OSCAR *gasp*.  This means I must choose to dislike a movie that is perfectly likable because everyone else likes it.  For this reason, and this reason only, I do not like the movie.  God forbid I should feel the same as anyone in the mainstream media.  I am so non-conformist for the sake of being non-conformist--I'm so cool...why doesn't anyone like me??"

No one likes you because your argument for why you only gave the movie two stars out of five doesn't make sense.  Especially since (brace yourself) the main actors in the movie you're condemning for being "Oscarbait" didn't even get nominated.  You might want to consider editing your ignorant movie review if you have time between taking photos of yourself in the bathroom mirror without turning off the flash.

You're the smartest,
Jacquie

1 comment:

Lojo Beautiful said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Gold. PURE GOLD.